Don’t worry you are not alone. Lots of divorcing parties innocently assume their attorney is skilled in divorce finance matters. If you could have an open and private conversation with your family law attorney you would discover s/he is skilled in the aspects of the law. Most attorneys we speak with openly share they do not like calculators let alone figuring out how to work through the financial matters of a divorce. If the financial aspects of the case is simple they are all over it. If it gets slightly complex not only are they challenged but you are placing your life in the wrong hands. Your divorce attorney will admit it if pressed too. 

The attorney uses guideline calculations to formulate their financial opinions. There is no single formula in the world that will fit into everyone’s life. It’s nearly impossible. If someone created such a formula that applies to every situation, I would love to meet them and I’m sure you would too. Details matter. Financial design matters. Financial outcomes matter. Be sure to not get talked into a situation where the guideline formulas are an acceptable process for your life with a 50/50 allocation of the assets and debts. There is a better way. It all comes down to what we call the 3 lanes of divorce. You have to make sure you align your needs with the right lane. Read on to learn more.

What are the 3 lanes of divorce?

There are 3 major lanes of divorce: legal, financial and emotional. Each requires a dedicated professional who has deep expertise and frameworks in their lane. When the professional starts to take on another lane you can be sure you are not paying for the best expertise. Why? They do not sharpen that saw every day. They are not in practice to figure out how to solve those types of problems. Attorneys are great at legal issues. This translates into domestic violence matters, custody matters, communicating with the opposing counsel and Judge, etc. Be sure to not have your attorney negotiate the financial aspects of your divorce. Your attorney may say that s/he has this in the bag. Truth be told, if it doesn’t make sense to you, it won’t make sense to anyone else and your divorce will get extended. Everyone’s financial life has a degree of complexity to it that has to be broken down. What you need to do is have your attorney negotiate your legal matters, not your financial matters. If you decide differently and have your attorney dive into your financial life you can expect blindspots to exist at many turns. In fact you may be talked into a corner about certain financial issues where things won’t make sense to you. So, be very careful as your future financial life is on the line in a divorce process. 

Divorce finance experts. What do they do? These professionals are your analysts, architects negotiators and drafters of your future financial life. If you find someone who is good, secure that professional as s/he will be worth the weight in gold. It is worthwhile noting, do not engage a divorce finance professional to give you advice on family law matters. Once again, the divorce finance professional will be learning on your dime about legal issues. You don’t want to pay for that type of advice from this type of professional. Even worse, you don’t want to take the risk that this professional will get it right. If you have legal issues in your case (usually 5% is legal and 95% is financial), then find an attorney who can address your legal issues.

The value of a mental health professional in a divorce cannot be understated. These professionals understand how to provide you the mental infrastructure to manage the ups and downs not only during your divorce but also during your life. If you are feeling stress from your divorce, it’s critical to have the right divorce coach or life coach on your side. You will feel the pressure lifted and know someone else has your back, emotionally speaking.

If you would like to learn more about the 3 lanes in a divorce or what is going on in your case, feel free to reach out. My name is Bryan Monteverde. I am a divorce finance professional uniquely helping people navigate the financial risks that often arise in a divorce process and need to be diligently managed. I usually spend about 30-60 minutes on these types of calls with people who reach out. The call is 100% free to you. I will give you my honest feedback about your situation. You have no obligation to engage our services whatsoever. You can take the information to pave the best road forward for you. My email is [email protected]. If you want to open up a conversation with me, just email me and put in the subject line “Request free consultation”. Send me some times that work for you and I’ll get back to you. Our discussion will be 100% confidential.

I hope this article was helpful to you.

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