If you find yourself entering a divorce process, the last thing you want to experience is a divorce process that goes on and on. Yet, we’ve all heard stories where this happens all too often. If someone is not paid to close your divorce process, unfortunately just like everything else in life, it costs you time, money and stress.
Divorce processes that languish can have a significant impact on you and your family. Unwanted memories can be created that you will talk about for years to come. Frankly, no one needs these extra mental stressors. These stressors can be minimized, if not avoided. Yet, to reach an agreed upon settlement and close your process as soon as possible is easier said than done. The key is to choose the right process and the right types of professionals for your divorce process.
Below we’ve outlined some examples of what happens when your divorce process remains open longer than necessary.
3 Unwanted Outcomes that Arise When a Divorce Remains Open
While it may seem like the worst has already happened in your life, you still have to go through a process to bring your divorce to a close. It takes continued communication and a concerted effort by both parties to make it happen. When your divorce process remains open without a clear vision of when the closing will occur it becomes difficult to switch your mind off and rest. You are always under stress.
When you wake up in the middle of the night or can’t fall asleep, you are thinking about your divorce and how to best manage it. You put more time and energy into your divorce process when you need to be sleeping and recuperating to have energy for tomorrow.
As you think about the issues, you try to reconcile what is going on at the present moment. You also question why things are not working out the way you expected. You may even question how you can ‘right size’ the process so you can move toward a closing. All you want to do is find a way to make this process come to an end. This is a common theme we hear from many people.
Other things happen when you don’t get enough sleep. Your decision making is compromised at work, at home and for your divorce process too. These mistakes start to mount and cause a lot of pain that you may have to live with for the rest of your life.
You can avoid these issues by having a personal financial advocate help you manage your divorce process and your changing negotiating position. A personal financial advocate is always on the lookout for opportunities to close your process.
Mounting Stress With your Children
In America, statistics show the divorce rate is upwards of 50%. Many times this can translate into the children experiencing a painful divorce too. Yet this does not mean your children have to be one of those statistics. This commonly arises when you involuntarily share your stresses with your children. Your stress can manifest in the form of silence, isolation, lack of patience, yelling or a myriad of other ways. Your children interpret it as “this is not the same person that I knew”. As a result they get confused and hurt which can impact your relationships.
If you took a step back you might realize that the source of the stress comes from the type of process you employed for your divorce. If you were doing this type of work professionally long enough you would realize the process was broken and things can be done differently to manage your outcomes.
A well managed process can result in a less contentious divorce. A less contentious divorce leads to healthier relationships with your children too. Children lead more peaceful lives. They bounce back faster. Grades don’t suffer as much. Interpersonal relationships are more easily formed and maintained. Life returns to normal faster.
Less Money in Your Pocket
When divorces remain open, you leave the opportunity for the opposing party to negotiate further. You continue to go back and forth with the other side. This is never good for anyone. It is important to have a strong negotiating position going into any discussion to limit the back and forth so you can optimize your outcomes.
Things can be done differently if you simply keep quality in your process.
What you should do to manage your risks?
If you are entering a divorce process it would be wise to understand which skills you need on your team and determine where the process gaps exist.
It takes a village to raise children. It takes different skills to successfully open, manage and close a divorce process so you can preserve your life after your divorce.
About the Author
Larry Smith is a Founding Partner of Divorce Outcomes, a specialized professional services firm that manages all of the financial aspects in a divorce process. Since 2003 he has worked as a trusted financial advisor, financial advocate, divorce architect and technical financial expert; he is not an attorney. He is an alumni of KPMG and Andersen with expertise in technical accounting, forensics, sophisticated taxation, management consulting, risk management, advanced process engineering, business combinations, divorce management, multi-party negotiations, advanced quality analytics and cognitive performance technologies. Since 1986 Larry has been advising individuals and organizations about innovative financial solutions to resolve complex financial challenges that arise in life and in business.
For both personal and business divorces, Larry is considered an expert in divorce strategies, divorce process management, financial divorce architecture, financial risk management, taxation for divorces, financial divorce forensics, advanced divorce analytics, financial divorce negotiations and mediation, business valuations and sophisticated equity structures. He helps clients shape complex financial decisions, manage communication risks and ever-changing negotiating positions to strategically preserve or grow wealth from these types of transactions.
If You Have a Question
If you have a question, feel free to contact me at [email protected] or 617-680-5222. The call is free. I will spend 30–60 minutes with you. I will provide you an honest assessment as to where I think you are positioned in your divorce process or answer any questions you have. I may provide you some guidance, insight or advice that you can take with you as you wish. There is no obligation to move forward. The phone call is designed to ease your fears, provide you some options to pursue and a potential road to run on that can lead you down a path to achieve a successful outcome.
About Divorce Outcomes
Divorce Outcomes is a specialty services firm that helps people both domestically and internationally manage all of the financial decisions that arise in their divorce process. We are not attorneys. We are financial experts who partner with our clients as their personal financial advocates. We help our clients manage their divorce process, uncover hidden financial risks, architect divorce solutions, manage ever-changing negotiating positions, communicate complex financial matters and close the divorce process as soon as possible with a goal to arrive at the best outcomes possible. Throughout the process we evaluate the current state of our clients’ financial lives with an objective to best reposition their future. We do not sell any products. We simply raise issues that are in our clients best interest. Our clients share with us we:
- unfold, analyze and repackage their financial life so they are well positioned after their divorce
- preserve the value of their business or marital estate
- continuously strive to provide a return on our services
- build balanced financial solutions grounded in evidence
- find ways to make our client, and at times both parties, money through the process
- design their divorce to work for them and their family’s life
- provide mental clarity to make decisions
- reduce the total process time from start to close
- minimize the stress and unpleasant memories that can last a lifetime
As we reach an agreed upon settlement structure, we help our clients identify a fitting attorney who can leverage the financial solution to draft and record the requisite legal documents. Where outcomes are at risk from a traditional process, we function as expert financial negotiators or financial mediators to turn around the situation and achieve our client’s desired outcomes.
This communication is for general informational purposes only which may or may not reflect the most current developments. It is not intended to constitute formal advice or a recommended course of action as every person’s situation is unique and different. The information here is not intended to be, and should not be, relied upon by the recipient to make a decision without professional guidance.